my feet feel hot :(

I've been MIA from the whole blogging/fbnoting/tumblring thing for awhile now. Josh told me he misses it, so here i am! So since summer ended, I've just been busy with school, work, and as of recently, volleyball. Anyhoo, just some random thoughts and updates..

My classes aren't so bad (except finance, blaaarghh). It's the brass ring program that's keeping me busy! Brass ring is basically a class that also counts as an internship credit. You get put into teams of about 7-ish. Each team gets about 1-3 foreign exchange students. Mayyyn is there a cultural barrier. I took a dumb fb questionnaire recently (boredom kills), and it asked if I was impatient. I really thought I was just normal, but damn, I think I'm really impatient. Or maybe some people are just really good at getting under my skin.

Volleyball season is starting next week! I'm super excited! I've been skipping a ton of practices, so I've been using this week to catch up. Now, I am extremely sore from head to toe. Lewis told me I walk like a pregnant woman because I have to waddle -_-. Yeah, it's thaaaat bad. Well last night, Josh, Simon, and I were practicing super late @ Greg and joined in a scrimmage game. My proudest moment was saving the ball when it was 1 foot away from the ground with one arm. Best feeling ever! I know I'm like the least athletic person ever, but you better believe when I'm on that court, I'm bustin' my ass and giving it my all. You will never hear me complain about how much I'm hurting or how tired I am. I really believe I put my whole heart into the game, and it feels so good! I hope to keep this up after IMs are over. We're playing for ASR in the OPhiG tournament on Thursday @ 6pm! Come support! Our IM games are @ 9pm on Mondays! :) TASA SALAD! <3 <3

Anyone who watches One Tree Hill knows that Peyton thinks "People always leave." In my eyes, I think people never change. I have very little hope in people. I've always felt this way, but the idea has been reinforced harder and stronger than ever. Many of my beliefs are very extreme, but I feel I have right to believe so. Especially since people have yet to prove me wrong. I felt I was close once, but no, I was just being foolish. People don't change unless they themselves truly want that change. If you're going to date someone, don't try to change her/him. That'll never work. Maybe slightly, but never to where you'd like. Part of being with someone is accepting him/her for his/her faults. I don't see why people who are aware of certain attributes of their S.O. pre-dating insist on changing those attributes afterwards. NONSENSE!

Branching off of the last paragraph, I hate fake people. I hate when people portray themselves in a way where they know the world would fall in love with them. Why do you feel you have to put on this front? Sooner or later, your true colors come out. So quit telling the world your fake ass philosophies on life and love because everything you claim to stand for is a load of shit. Listen to Drake. "I am more than what you bargained for but nothing less than real." And Emerson. "It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." Wise words from men of different times. The notion of staying real does not change.

So, Josh and I have come to the conclusion that Koreans are terrible with phones. Anyone who talks to/calls Josh knows he doesn't answer his phone worth shit! Not only does he not pick up calls, he doesn't answer text messages. I've yelled at him and cussed him out (with love, of course) on countless occasions, so he's actually gotten a bit better with it. Other Koreans include his mommma, his sister.. etc. He actually proposed this idea to me first, and I didn't believe it.. until SOMEBODY (ahem MatthewKim) decides to always respond to me hours later. Hmph, damn Koreans. :P

I realized I am constantly being played for a fool. I don't think I'm one to have many regrets. You live, you learn. That's all you can do. Even so, I'm really hoping this isn't one of those times.

Here's a song I really love. Definitely a great remix.

Travis Garland - Dead & Gone

I'm not the same person I used to be.
I'm moving on, It's just me.

Do you remember when you told me that
I'd never be good enough for anyone
And I wasn't worth your time,
Your energy.
And why didn't I listen then,
Why didn't I stand up for myself?
You made me believe,
That I was on the road to nowhere,
To nowhere.

And oh,
I was listening for way too long.
I should've known I'm way to strong,
That you'd just lead me on,
Lead me on.

And oh,
I was driving on that road to long.
Just tryna find my way back home,
The old me is dead and gone,
Dead and gone.

I've been thinking about all that we been trough,
Every place that you and me went to.
Thinking back on stupid little memories.
Thinking 'bout the times that my heart felt empty,
Wait! that was all the time,
Cause we just weren't fine, we fake it.
A true friend stabbed you in the front so tell me
Why my back is aching?
You can't say, you just choked
Hangman, there's your rope.
Dang, what's a five letter word for you
Well pick up and you got beat at your game.
Burn every bridge but you still see the smoke,
Tryna get across but you sank every boat.
You can smoke everyday of your life
But when I'm on the mic I'm a be more dope.

And oh,
I was listening for way too long.
I should've know I'm way to strong,
To let you just lead me on,
Lead me on.

See, you can love me for who I am,
Or hate me for who you think I am,
But the old me is dead and gone,
I'm moving on now.

Old me is dead and gone,
Dead and gone.